Thou Shalt Not Honk

The Vatican has issued Ten Commandments for driving.

To keep motorists on the road to salvation, the Vatican on Tuesday issued "Ten Commandments" that warn drivers against the sins of road rage. The unusual document from the Vatican's office for migrants and itinerant people also warned that automobiles can be ''an occasion of sin'' -- particularly when used to make a dangerous passing maneuver or when used by prostitutes and their clients.

And it suggested prayer might come in handy -- performing the sign of the cross before starting off and saying the rosary along the way. The rosary was particularly well-suited to recitation by all in the car, it said, since its "rhythm and gentle repetition does not distract the driver's attention."

Here's the Commandments of the Road:

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

I have a few suggestions of my own:

1. No talking on cell phones. Ever.

2. You paid for the turn signal. Use it. Then remember to turn it off.

3. The "fast lane" means more than 35 mph on an interstate highway.

4. Not everyone is a fan of 120db rap music that is loud enough to vibrate the moulding off the car next to you. Close your windows and deafen yourself. (My next career is to open a hearing-aid shop. I'll make a fortune.)

5. Today's cars are marvels of modern engineering. Therefore, if you make a right turn onto a side street at a speed in excess of 15 mph , it will not tip over.

6. Owning a 4x4 dual-wheel Ford F-350 Super Duty pickup truck with monster tires when you work as a CPA in Miami doesn't mean you're a stud. It means you have size issues. Likewise, putting a spoiler and a hood scoop on a Subaru is the equivalent of a teeenaged boy stuffing a sock in his pants.

7. When you're stuck in traffic, the other line does not move faster. It just seems that way.

8. Applying make-up while driving is dangerous. And that goes for women, too.

9. Try being conscious while driving. It makes things easier.

10. Some people were just meant to take the bus.

Feel free to add your own.