Bark Bark Woof Woof

Faithful Blog Mentor NTodd was wondering about analogies on how we - as a country - could extricate ourselves from Iraq with as little additional damage to the people (theirs and ours) and the infrastructure (ditto). He asked for analogies, with the caveat that analogies are, by their nature, flawed. Never one to shirk from a challenge, I replied:

Some friends of mine decided to remodel their kitchen. It wasn't going to be a huge task - all they wanted was new cabinets, appliances, countertops, and a new floor. They started the week after the 4th of July - of this year - and the designer swore that they would be done within a month. All of the appliances were pre-ordered, all the measurements were taken, all of the drawings were checked. And so it began.

Well, there's no point in going into all the details, so I'll just say that the final piece - a cabinet door - was installed yesterday. It took three times as long as anticipated. To my friends' credit, they did not fire the designer or the subcontractors, but they sure as hell held them accountable for everything and did not let them make any changes or cutbacks. They also held them to the quote on the order, and they didn't pay up until everything was done to their satisfaction.

My shorter analogy is one that comes from being on the other side of the customer/contractor fence. When I was in the window business and people would come in for a quote on their window package for their new or remodeled house, I always asked them A) who their contractor was and B) which one of them was going to be the full-time supervisor. If they couldn't answer either question, well, I may not know much about geography, but I knew what creek they were up.

We - and we are all responsible because we didn't raise our voices loud enough - made this mess and now we have to resolve it. I have no idea how we're going to get out, but I do know that if we don't do something about it, that granite wall on the Mall in Washington will have taught us nothing.

I too welcome your analogies. We need to figure this out.

One for the road is tres bien. Or so they tell you. I actually think it's a plot to get back at us for the shit we gave them over Iraq. Either that or have us wreck our cars so they can start importing Citroens and Peugeots again. (IMHO, French cars are ugly enough that you could wreck one and not know the difference.)

See if you can tell me who said this. It was over 40 years ago, but it's just as true now as it was then:

Now what kind of an attitude is that, these things happen? They only happen because this whole country is just full of people, who when these things happen, they just say these things happen, and that's why they happen! We gotta have control of what happens to us.

No prizes if you get it right except my undying admiration and a BBWW bellyrub. One clue: it is from a film.

This guy was arrested here in South Florida, and there's every indication that he's not alone. Would John Ashcroft consider him to be a terrorist?

It was the year the shit hit the fan. An unpopular war, started under hyped-up pretenses, was not going well, with soldiers dying on the streets of the cities in a far-away land. The president, who had at first rallied the nation together after a national tragedy, had squandered any good will he had with the people and allies with his obsession to win his battles at any cost. His lofty domestic agenda that he hoped would restore the country's prosperity all but disappeared in partisan wrangling - even the president's own party began to show cracks.

Meanwhile, the tone of conversation in the country had turned bitter, reflected in the culture - popular music had gone from harmonious to raucous, some musicians advocating the use of illegal drugs in their hard-bitten lyrics. Civil rights had made many gains, but there were still powerful pockets of resentment against "those people," and a recent Supreme Court ruling invalidating laws against certain types of behavior had caused a lot of anger and calls for certain justices to be impeached. And to top it all off, a presidential election was looming. Candidates who were seen as insurgents against the big-party machine began to capture the imagination of the disillusioned voters, and their momentum grew because they were actually going around and meeting people in small numbers that grew expotentially and overtook the "establishment" politicians.

The president tried desperately to control the situation. The president became isolated, unwilling to hear bad news, blaming the media for all the problems, and spoke in terms of "us versus them" about his own citizens. His battle plans for the war changed almost daily: first, we would liberate the country and make it safe. Then, we would just make sure it was safe to leave so the people left behind could establish peace. Then, in response to an offensive by guerrillas, we launched an aggressive counter-offensive, determined to break the back of the opposition and win the hearts and minds of the people. Then he considered just finding a way to get out so that it didn't look too much like he cut and run. None of it worked, and long afterwards, the painful lesson of fighting a war in a land we didn't understand against a dreadful but powerful force we couldn't control consumed the national psyche for years. It would be a very long time before true prosperity came back to the country, both financially and psychologically, and, in some cases, it would be lost forever.

That was now.

David Brooks offers more advice to the Democrats: stop being mean!

John Kerry will not take public funding for his campaign and may take out a personal loan to cover the costs of his campaign. Or not.

Kerry's campaign initially put out a statement saying he would take out a personal loan, then issued another, deleting that line. Kerry said he had made no decision, but urged his supporters to step up their contributions.

A friend forwarded an e-mail appeal from the Kerry campaign along the lines of "I have not yet begun to fight" and asking for more contributions from his faithful supporters.

``As you all know, this has been a difficult week in our campaign, but I've been in tougher spots than this before and I've fought back and won,'' said Kerry, a decorated Vietnam War veteran. ``That fight begins today with a decision I'm making to give up federal matching funds in this campaign.''

My gut instinct is that the bearings are starting to seize up on the Kerry campaign wagon, and unless there's a real comeback, it'll be Dean's to lose. (I've been wrong before, though - I cast my very first vote for Muskie in the Ohio primary in 1972 via absentee ballot a week before he dropped out.)

Via Jesse at Pandagon, this article from the WAPO depicting "highlights" from the 39-hour circus just concluded. By the way, the tactic failed; the Republicans failed to get enough votes to end the Democratic filibuster.

To quote Lord Byron, "And if I laugh at any mortal thing, 'tis that I may not weep."

This is too good to pass up.

From the NY Times:

It may come as no surprise that people who can hardly stand each other during regular business hours would treat each other all the more harshly in an all-night working session. But tempers were especially raw during the Senate's debate on judicial nominations, which ran wearily on into a third day Friday morning toward an end scheduled for 39 hours after it began.

The extraordinary session, called by Republicans to complain about Democrats' tactics in blocking some of President Bush's judicial nominees, was more than anything a vivid demonstration of the decline in relations between the two parties.

At one point on Thursday, Senator Tom Harkin, Democrat of Iowa, said he was witnessing lots of sanctimony and hypocrisy, and mentioned a pair of Republicans, Senators Robert F. Bennett of Utah and Jon Kyl of Arizona.

Senator Don Nickles, Republican of Oklahoma, then took the floor to say that if Mr. Harkin did that again, he would have him cited for violating Senate rules that prohibit unclothed insult.

"It's not right," Mr. Nickles said, "to be coming down and mentioning senators by name and using words like `sanctimonious hypocrisy.' "

Cry me a river, Donnyboy, you pompous, arrogant, homophobic and sanctimoniously hypocritical piece of hammered dog shit.

Additions to the Unclothed Insult List are welcome.

Eileen Foley of The Blade wonders how much longer conservatives can put up with the Bush Administration. I'm waiting to see Kate O'Bierne's head explode. I'd pay to see that.

Rodney Dangerfield said when he was a kid he was so unpopular that his mom had to tie a pork chop around his neck in order to get the dog to play with him. Maybe the Bush Administration is finding out how that feels. Japan has announced that it has decided not to send troops to Iraq "at this time." Never really wild about the whole deal in the first place, after a suicide bomber took out over 20 Italians earlier this week, they're having second thoughts, as is South Korea, Jordan and Turkey. And who can blame them? We've treated our allies like shit with our unilateralism and arrogance, as if we are the only country on the planet fighting terrorism. Meanwhile, those countries - all of whom were dealing with terrorism both internally and externally while Bush was still losing money in the oil business - are saying, basically, "Hey, you got yourself into this - let's see you come up with a way to get yourself out. Meanwhile, we'll...uh...we'll get back to you."

Rep. Tom DeLay has set up a charity for the express purpose of skirting the McCain-Feingold campaign finance law. According to an article in today's NY Times, DeLay created a "charity," Celebrations for Children, Inc. in September with his daughter, Dani DeLay Derro and long-time adviser Craig Richardson and Republican fund-raiser Rob Jennings as the managers. They're shaking down donors for up to $500,000 and planning a variety of events in New York timed to coincide with the Republican National Convention, and promising that at least 75% of the donation will go to abused and neglected children.

What an efficient idea. DeLay can get around the campaign finance laws, rake in a ton of cash, and exploit children at the same time.

Has it over occurred to him to actually pass legislation that would help abused and neglected children without holding a celebrity golf tournament and advancing your own political future? Nah...

When King Henry VIII of England decided to divorce Catherine of Aragorn to marry Anne Boleyn, he sought an annulment from the Pope. It was denied, so he broke away from the Roman Catholic Church and began the Church of England, today known in the United States as the Episcopal Church. In doing so, King Henry ran up against opposition from his good friend and chancellor Sir Thomas More, who refused to acknowledge the separation, believing that God's law took precedence over the laws of man - and kings. King Henry took a dim view of this and charged More with treason. During his trial, More refused to speak out in support of the king. He was convicted and executed. The Roman Catholic Church delcared More a martyr and made him a saint.

This week, Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore was called before the State Court of the Judiciary for refusing to obey the orders of both state and federal courts to remove a two-ton granite monument to the Ten Commandments in the rotunda of the Alabama State Supreme Court building that he had placed there. The courts had ruled that such a monument in a public building was a violation of state and federal law. Moore contended that it was his right and indeed his lawful duty to put the monument on public display. Today the board disagreed, and Chief Justice Moore was removed from office.

On the surface, the cases appear to be similar: both men were put on trial for defying the law of the land and defended themselves by claiming that they are responsible to a higher law - that of God - and that the state was wrong to convict them for their religious beliefs. I daresay that there are many people who consider Chief Justice Moore to be a martyr.

There are important differences, however, between Moore and More. Sir Thomas More did not speak out publicly against King Henry - in fact, he went to great lengths to appeal to the king behind closed doors not to put him on the spot where he would have to publicly proclaim his support - or lack thereof - of the king. At his trial, dramatized in the play A Man for All Seasons, by Robert Bolt,* the prosecutor's chief evidence against him is that he remained silent, which was construed as dissension. More went to his death without fanfare; "I die His Majesty's good servant, but God's first." Chief Justice Moore, taking advantage of America's proud tradition of free speech, went in the opposite direction. As a judge in Alabama, he prominently hung the Ten Commandments on the wall of his courtroom and defied requests and later orders to remove them. When he was elected as Chief Justice, largely on his campaign to bring God back to the public square, he commissioned the granite monument and had it placed in the rotunda, begging for a fight, which he was all to happy to wage in court and in the media. When the Federal court issued the removal order last August, the standoff between the enforcers of the order and Moore's followers became the stuff of Breaking News on CNN. Justice Moore, upon his removal today, gave a press conference, speaking long about how he has suffered for his God and how America has suffered as well. His self-depiciton as a martyr was on all the news programs tonight, and he will presumably retire for the time being with a comfortable pension and earn a lot of money speaking out for his beliefs to like-minded audiences across the country.

But Moore is no More. He is not a martyr. Martyrdom is never sought out; it is only a last resort to those who hold so strongly to their inner beliefs that they would rather suffer in silence and sacrifice everything they have - including their life - rather than yield. Martyrs do not promote themselves. They shrink from the spotlight. They turn themselves over to God, not Larry King. They do not become the issue. Chief Justice Moore's battle was not about the monument or his beliefs - it was about one man who sought the limelight because he wanted to promote his religion, not his faith. Turning the Ten Commandments into a soapbox to shout his hosannahs into the headlines was a violation of one of the commandments themselves - worshipping idols - and one of the basic teachings of Christ; prayer and worship is best done in silence.


*A Man for All Seasons, based on Bolt's play, was made into a film in 1966 starring Paul Scofield as More, and Robert Shaw as King Henry. It won Academy Awards for Best Picture, Best Actor (Scofield), Best Director (Fred Zinnemann), and Best Screenplay (Bolt).

Internet Resources:

Free Trade Area of the Americas Office of NAFTA and Inter American Affairs - facts, information and background on the FTAA.
Council of the Americas FTAA Web Page - offers information about the FTAA, including specific information on the negotiating process and objectives, progress updates, and activities.
FTAA Miami Official Website - information on the Miami conference including venues, plans, and prepartions.
Official Website of the Free Trade Area of the Americas - FTAA information, policy, and copies of draft agreements.

Opposition Websites:

Global Exchange FTAA Website - information, background, and information for opponents of the FTAA.
Stop the FTAA Website - information, contacts, and organization plans to oppose the Miami FTAA.

From the NY Times, Justice Roy Moore has been removed from the bench of the Alabama state Supreme Court.

Welcome Rubber Hose and Mercury X23 to the BBWW Link list. Both are crafty and fun writers and faithful commenters here. That alone earns a BBWW bellyrub.

NTodd at Dohiyi Mir has a great riff on the GOP talkathon in the Senate where they are basically "shocked and outraged" that the Democrats would have the nerve to hold up four of Bush's judicial nominees. When confronted with the fact that the Republicans held up ten times as many of Clinton's nominees, their response is either "But this is different!" (subtext: We can do it, you can't) or "We did NOT!" (subtext: I am off my Aricept, that new treatment for short-term memory loss). And on CNN, Bush calls for the Democrats to stop the "ugly politics." Talkin' to the hand, Dubya..

Meanwhile, the Democrats are using this occasion to beat up on the Republicans. Senator Tom Harkin said he was going to be home Wednesday night watching The Bachelor. Hey, if you have to sit around and watch people make a public spectacle of themselves, you might as well do it with chips and salsa on the side.

Click here to go to the website for the South Florida Region Antique Auto Club of America. Click on the "Photo Album" link and scroll down to Memory Lane 2003 to see pictures of the exhibit.

And here's an article on the show from today's Miami Herald "Wheels and Waves" section.

Why worry about imminent threat when we can argue about the censorhsip of The Reagans biopic?

From The Onion. In an Onion twist of fate, I just sent my mom an e-mail about Bark Bark Woof Woof.

Okay, your turn. How did you come out of the blog closet to your family? Did they take it well? Any threats of disownment? C'mon, share your secrets...with the readership I'm getting, no one will ever know!

The Toledo Blade has run an amazing series on Tiger Force, an elite fighting unit in Vietnam that is accused of atrocities and war crimes in 1967 and was basically swept under the rug. (A friend from home pointed it out to me over the weekend and I just finished reading it.) To quote the immortal Bard, "I am amazed and know not what to say."

It means taking joy in the suffering of others. I stream Interlochen Public Radio from the Interlochen Center for the Performing Arts in northern lower Michigan because I used to live up there and they play a great selection of classical music all day. My dad's company used to underwrite them when he had a business in Traverse City. Well, the weather report from there is predicting blizzard conditions for tomorrow. I know they can handle it - hell, unless the snow covers the roof rack on the station wagon, it's just a heavy frost. But it's 81 F here in Miami and I'm going to enjoy driving home this afternoon with the top down.

Safire's still got a johnson for Hillary '04. But then, he still has spectral chats with Nixon.

On the way in to the office, someone came up behind me so close that I couldn't see his headlights, then swerved around me, and cut in front of me before taking off. He was driving some little import with thin tires, decals on the side and rear window, and one of those exhaust resonators that make the car sound like it's farting at a high rate of speed when you floor the accelerator.

This wouldn't have bothered me except I was going slightly over the speed limit in the middle lane of a three-lane expressway and there were no other cars around me. Speed Demon could have been in either of the other lanes and blown past me at 80 without having to tailgate me and - I can only assume - provoke me into doing something stupid like drag racing with him. After all, I'm in a Mustang GT with a 5.0 liter engine and there weren't a lot of other cars on that stretch of the road. But I did not rise to the bait; I know where the cops hang out on that road, and I also don't feel like my manhood is being challenged when a teenager tries to show me his. It's petty, stupid, and can lead to disaster - this spring, after the release of 2 Fast 2 Furious, an insipid action flick about street racing filmed in Miami, there were a number of accidents involving teenage boys imitating the film, and one boy was killed when he cut his dad's Corvette in half on a phone pole. The bottom line is that I refuse to allow someone else to set the agenda for me, whether it's on the road or in life.

In a larger mode, that's what's happening in the current political debate. We all know that in the last ten years the Right has set the standard for goading, bullying, exaggerating, hating, and just plain lying about their political opponents, while we on the other side have, in the words of Aaron Sorkin, cowered in the corner and whimpered, "Please don't hurt me." Now, thanks in large part to the over-the-top arrogance of some of the Right (Tom DeLay comes to mind) and many Democrats getting to the point where we've Had Enough, we are fighting back. It is no surprise that someone like Howard Dean with his flinty disposition and refusal to suffer fools gladly has captured the imagination of a lot of the Democrats who have Had Enough. A cottage industry in the left-wing punditry is the "I-Hate-Bush" article, and I have no need to point out that the blogosphere has generated a blizzard of commentary dedicated to demonizing, from the sublime to the ridiculous, every aspect of the Bush presidency as well as the man, his family, and his pets. We are giving back as good as we got during the Clinton Administration, and by God, there is a certain satisfaction in doing it.

Unfortunately, as good as it feels and as much as they deserve it, it's a short-term thing and could backfire. Handing the Right such things as Jonathan Chait's article in the The New Republic about how much he hates Bush lets them point at us and say we're the ones spewing "hate speech." It lets them once again be in charge of the agenda. That can't happen. We have to be the ones who should be, in biz-speak, pro-active. Complaining without providing a solution is just bitching.

I learned a few lessons as a camp counselor and school teacher. One of them is that you never win an argument with a bully, especially if your excuse is, "It all started when he hit me back."

Update: Nick Kristof has a point of view on this in his column in today's NY Times. He makes it sound like all the "incivility" is the Democrats' fault, which is either naive or patronizing; take your pick.

Art Carney has died at the age of 85. For me, he was the best reason to watch The Honeymooners, and he was brilliant in Harry and Tonto.

Also, a little-known fact: his portrayal of Ed Norton was the role model for Barney Rubble on The Flintstones.

Two more officials of John Kerry's campaign have quit in response to the firing of campaign manager Jim Jordan yesterday, according to the NY Times:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry's press secretary and deputy finance director quit Tuesday, adding to the bitter turmoil on Kerry's team after the dismissal of his campaign manager.

Robert Gibbs, chief spokesman for the Massachusetts lawmaker, and deputy finance director Carl Chidlow quit in reaction to the firing of Jim Jordan, abruptly let go by Kerry Sunday night. Both expressed dissatisfaction with the campaign, according to officials.

Gibbs will be replaced by Stephanie Cutter, a former spokeswoman for Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass., and currently the spokeswoman for the Democratic National Convention, the officials said.

Jordan was replaced Monday by Mary Beth Cahill, who was Kennedy's chief of staff. The switch, less than three months before voters in Iowa participate in the first-in-the-nation caucuses, was designed to jump-start Kerry's campaign by signaling to fund-raisers and activists that he was addressing problems that have caused his campaign to slump.

Many Democratic strategists, however, say the problems were caused by the candidate himself, that he has campaigned as if the nomination was his entitlement while allowing former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean to catapult ahead.

Dean sealed two key union endorsements last week, forcing Kerry to examine his presidential prospects.

The staff shake-up consolidates power around Kennedy's former staff after months of internal division. Kerry's team has consisted of roughly three factions -- his Washington team, paid consultants and friends and family from Boston.

``We're sorry to see them go. They served the senator well,'' campaign spokeswoman Christine Anderson said of Gibbs and Chidlow.

The departures threaten to further erode the morale of a campaign that had been viewed just months ago as a front-running team. Kerry, who has been trailing former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean in key state polls, had been pressured by donors and supporters to shake up his campaign.

Several campaign officials said the firing of Jordan was viewed as unfair by many Kerry aides, and there remained a possibility that others would follow Gibbs and Chidlow out the door.

We have a little over two months until the New Hampshire primary, and with Dean on a roll and Kerry's wheels coming off, it looks like we're heading for the inevitability factor, at least in New Hampshire.

On another note, I heard on CNN's Crossfire that George Soros just donated a huge chunk of change to MoveOn.org. I forgot the exact figure (and can't find a weblink to the story, so when I find out, I'll get back to you), but it was enough to get Robert Novak (The Prince of Darkness) to foam at his dentures. That alone was worth tuning in for.

Update: Via Tapped, here's the WAPO link to the abovementioned Soros donation to Democratic causes. Thanks, George!

I've been reading Josh Marshall's Talking Points Memo for as long as it's been on the web, and most of the time I agree with him; he's studious, well-researched, and he's a good writer. He has three posts today that are intriguing.

The first one is a rumor that a highly-placed Taiwanese official paid $1 million to meet with Neil Bush. The second is a post about Howard Dean's vulnerabilities as a candidate and an e-mail response from John Judis about the post.

Read, discuss, and I'll get back to you after my stint at the car show today.

From the way today's Miami Herald describes it, the FTAA protests are going to be peaceful, well-organized, and colorful. (This queer eye would hope for tasteful without being gaudy, but, hey, you go with what you've got.) The well-organized among the protesters (there's an oxymoron in there somewhere) are hoping that their message - fair trade, not free trade - gets heard and that the threats of violence and property damage by a few don't overpower the majority who want to have a peaceful encounter with the FTAA delegates.

As hopeful as that sounds, I don't hold out much hope. Even leaving out the anarchists, getting a group of demonstrators to work together and in any kind of order is like trying to teach cats how to march (there's an assignment for you, NTodd). Even when it's just a bunch of friends trying to caravan from one place to another, anarchy ensues: "Okay, the Greenpeace people won't ride with the PETA people because the Greenpeacers are going in Joe's Buick Wildcat and PETA says that's an exploitive car name. And the ACT-UP gays won't talk to the Lesbians for the Metric System - size issues, I guess. And no one wants to stop at Starbucks because they exploit the coffeeworkers in South America, but Lucy says she can't get motivated to do her Free The Arabic Women mime act without a frappacino." You get the idea.

Going into this, it looks the the policy is hope for the best, plan for the worst.

David Brooks says there's no reason to suspect any sweetheart deals in the Halliburton-in-Iraq contracts because the federal procurement system is so wrapped up in bureaucratic procedure and protocol that no hanky-panky could happen.

Wait a minute...I thought the Republicans' biggest goal - their raison d'etre, as it were - was to eliminiate such cumbersome bureaucracy and make it easier for privitization. Now he's saying that the byzantine system run by nameless bureaucrats who live to make life complicated is a good thing; Halliburton and its subsidiaries got their contracts through the long and therefore legitimate bidding process, and that the Democrats who are questioning the deals are just cynical poopy-heads looking for a soundbite.

Sounds to me like Brooks is a sucker for a $400 toilet seat.

Let's pause a moment and say thanks to the people who served and acknowledge that regardless of the politics, they sacrificed something of themselves for the greater good of our country and our allies.

I honor my father, two uncles, a cousin, and a lot of friends and colleagues.

And in that light, read Paul Krugman's take on how the Bush Administration is honoring veterans.

After two years of deadlocked negotiations, accusations of bad faith on both sides, and a union chief busted for embezzling union funds, the Miami-Dade County School Board has reached a tentative agreement for a three-year contract with the United Teachers of Dade (UTD). It includes pay raises of nearly $42 million and increases in health benefits for family coverage. That may sound like a lot, but Miami-Dade is the fourth-largest school district in the country with an annual budget of $4.3 billion, over 367,000 students and 47,000 employees.

It's been a long battle, and not without some strange things to make the road a bumpy one, including a federal investigation of UTD president Pat Tornillo for living high on the hog on the dues of the teachers. The FBI raided the UTD headquarters last April, seizing hundreds of records, and it was revealed that Tornillo (which in Spanish means "screw" - God, I love irony) was living the life of Ken Lay. Hundreds of teachers resigned from the union, and last summer it looked like the union was about to collapse. But then, timing is everything. Several of the school board members are up for re-election next fall, the school system is the largest employer in the county, and those employees vote. Running for re-election with no contract would be as welcome a campaign issue as a wet dog at a wedding. In addition, Merret Stierheim, the superintendent of schools, announced last week that he would leave his post at the end of his contract in June 2004, leaving the School Board hanging with no contract, no superintendent, and angry teachers demonstrating outside every school board meeting (this is their only recourse - Florida law prohibits strikes by teachers). They realized that they'd better get on the stick, and today they did. Since the four other bargaining units, including AFSCME, will use the UTD contract as a template, whatever raises and benefits the teachers get, everyone gets...including li'l ole me!

This is the first job I've had under a union contract. (Well, yes, I do belong to The Dramatists Guild, but that's not like a real union...I mean, the worst thing we can do to protest unfair producers is get writer's block.) I grew up near a union city, though, and I know that labor unions are an important part of protecting workers and their rights. And in spite of the bad rap that unions get, and in spite of Mr. Tornillo's $27,000 trip to India and his gold-plated biffy, I'm proud that in the end things worked out so that teachers - who should get paid ten times what they earn as it is - can concentrate on teaching. After all, it's all for the kids, and you can't do better than that.

From a friend. I'm sure this has been bopping around the 'net, but I've never seen it.

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

I welcome any additional English idiosyncrases.

Check out Faithful Mentor NTodd's post on Andrew Cline's National Review Online column on Howard Dean's attractiveness as a Democratic candidate.

I myself do not trust the motives of anything nice said about a Democrat by NRO.

Leonard Pitts, Jr., writes this thoughtful commentary in today's Miami Herald on Dean's troubles with the Confederate flag:

I have no problem with what Howard Dean was trying to say. It's what he actually said that troubles me.

Specifically, the Democratic presidential candidate told an Iowa reporter that he wants to be ``the candidate for guys with Confederate flags in their pickup trucks.''

It was an inarticulate way of saying an important thing: that Dean wants to reach out to poor whites in the South.

But because he somehow managed to say something else entirely, the former Vermont governor triggered predictable criticisms of his racial sensitivity or lack thereof. Then he compounded the error. The axiom goes that the first thing to do when you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging. Dean, who has apparently never heard that one, instead engaged in a prickly defense of his remark at a Democratic debate last week in Boston. He fended off sharp criticism from his rivals and doggedly refused to apologize.

While conceding the obvious -- that the Confederate flag is ''a loathsome symbol'' of racism -- he also cited the need for the Democratic party to offer a ``big tent.''

''I make no apologies,'' said Dean, ``for reaching out to poor white people.''

It should be obvious why the candidate's reasoning insults blacks. He suggests that the Democratic Party's most loyal constituents should be ready to share the aforementioned big tent with people who hate them.

But you know who else ought to be insulted? Poor white people. After all, they are, in Dean's inference, synonymous with racism and its symbols. Yes, there has historically been a vivid streak of bigotry in that stratum of society. But anyone who thinks bigotry is the exclusive province of poor white folk has obviously never heard of John Rocker. Or, for that matter, Louis Farrakhan.

The real tragedy of Dean's comments, though, is not the affront it gives, but the opportunity it misses. It's commendable -- even visionary -- that he seeks to champion the concerns of poor white people. As the media have made poverty evermore a synonym for black and brown, we have lost sight of the fact that the majority of America's underclass is white. Those folks have been marginalized and ignored for years, unless you count being enlisted as foot soldiers in the culture wars over gay rights and affirmative action. Meantime, their own needs have gone largely unaddressed.

Once you comprehend that, you're in a position to comprehend the conclusion Martin Luther King Jr. ultimately reached. Namely, that poor people of whatever heritage have more in common than in contention. They never seem to see that, largely because race, the great American dividing line, has been used to keep them from seeing it. To keep them separate when by rights they should be shoulder to shoulder. So you wonder: What would happen if poor folk ever came together across racial lines, ever coalesced their votes into a political force and pushed their issues -- healthcare, the minimum wage, affordable housing -- into the national agenda?

The answer is a word: revolution.

Indeed, there are those who think it's no accident King was struck down shortly after he pointed his movement in that direction.

Now here's Dean, who seemed -- seemed -- to point in that same direction, except that he tripped over his tongue along the way. He muddled his message by invoking one of the most incendiary symbols of Southern racism, then stubbornly and stupidly refused to concede his error. It wasn't until the day after the debate that Dean finally expressed remorse for any ''pain'' his remarks had caused.

Which was, by that time, too little too late.

I suspect that Dean, even at this late date, still doesn't get it. I don't think he quite understands what he did wrong.

Much less what he very nearly did right.

After reading many transcripts of what Dean actually said in the various versions and venues he's been using for the last nine months, plus how he apologized for it, I think he does get it, from both angles, and he's had what we call in education a "teachable moment" in the process. The true test, however, will be if or when he makes another gaffe, he's made the most of that moment.

From this morning's NY Times, Sen. Kerry has fired his campaign manager, Jim Jordan. The campaign was apparently caught off-guard by Gov. Howard Dean's surge in the polls and the failure of Kerry's campaign to stir up voter interest. (For an interesting take on the Democratic Party's overall sluggish performance, check out today's lead story in Salon.com. Get the Day Pass if you don't subscribe.)

On a similar note, the Florida Panthers, the NHL team (I know...hockey in Florida?), have fired Coach Mike Keenan after they got off to a lousy start of 5-8-2. Or, in the words of the team owner, "failed to come up with a Stanley Cup-contending team."

Well, we all have lofty goals, and shit happens. But I think it's too easy to blame the manager when the team sucks, and also too easy to fire the campaign manager when the candidate is dull, pedantic, and just uninspiring. John Kerry may be a better candidate than Howard Dean in some respects, but if it's not getting through to the base and the people who vote, it's not just the fault of the campaign manager. Herb Brooks, the late coach of the miraculous Team USA of the 1980 Olympics had some losing seasons, too, when he had poor players. You can only do so much with some material. Or, as we say in theatre, even a great director can't make a bad play into Shakespeare (and even Shakespeare had his bad plays).

As reported in The Blade on Friday, November 7, 2003:

Two Toledo councilmen and a small group of citizens holding a banner were kicked out of Government Center yesterday while holding a news conference raising questions about the USA Patriot Act.

An Ohio Highway Patrol trooper held Councilman Pete Gerken’s elbow as he escorted him to the front exit of the building.

Also ordered to leave was Councilman Frank Szollosi and the group called Citizens for Individual Rights and Freedoms, whose members unfurled a banner criticizing the USA Patriot Act as "unpatriotic."

Mr. Gerken and Mr. Szollosi are co-sponsors of a council resolution condemning the Patriot Act. The law, enacted after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, broadens federal investigative powers. Critics have said it gives investigators too much power to snoop on law-abiding citizens.

Griff Allan, the second shift security supervisor, later told Mr. Gerken the reason he was removed was because a banner had been unfurled.

Building Manager Michael L. Sullivan also cited the banner as well as the topic as inappropriate for inside a public place.

"If they had been inside council chambers or outside the building, nothing would have happened," Mr. Sullivan said. "This is a public area. To avoid offending anyone, we say you can’t do it in a public area."

Short Version: It's okay to protest...just don't do it where anybody can see it.

Update: Now the ejected officials are threatening a lawsuit. Proof once again that nothing settles a disagreement like a subpeona.

Via Atrios, it looks like Howard Dean has raised most of his funds in small numbers - under $200 from the majority of his contributions. The only one ahead of him in the "small" donations category is Dennis Kucinich. Oh, and check out John Edwards' percentage of over $1,000 vs. under $200. And he has the nerve to call Dean "elitist?"

Now look at how much Bush has raised, and the percentages. $82+ million? To run against himself? The mind doth boggle.

It's the "Free Trade Area of the Americas," not Alliance, as I previously called it.

Jim DeFede writes for the Miami Herald, and he captures the flavor of the "uniqueness" of living in South Florida. Here's his take on the just-announced first presidential debate slated to take place on September 30, 2004 at the University of Miami.

I spent the afternoon at the South Florida International Auto Show that's at the Miami Beach Convention Center (historical footnote - it's where Nixon received the Republican nomination in 1968 and where my commencement ceremony from the University of Miami was held in 1974). I spent most of the time today as a volunteer keeping watch over the Memory Lane exhibit, which is a collection of 23 classic cars from the South Florida Region Antique Auto Club of America, of which I am a member. The cars range from a 1927 Packard to a 1972 AMC Gremlin, each one a Best-In-Show quality. The fun part was watching the reactions of the crowd - older people would stop and say, "I had one of those," or a teenager would look at the 1967 Camaro Indy Pace car or the 1970 Dodge Challenger T/A or the 1965 Mustang GT coupe and say, somewhat wistfully, "Those musta been fun cars to drive," to which I would nod and say, "Yeah, they are."

I took some time to look at the new models on display, and while the new cars are dazzling with their electronic wizardry and sleek forms, these cars seem to be lacking a certain panache, a flair for style. That's it, I think. Cars today are engineered, not styled. Yes, they run longer - it's no great deal if a car turns over 100,000 miles; heck, my 1988 Pontiac 6000 wagon has 237,000 miles on it. But the style is gone.

When I was a kid, I used to wait excitedly for the day when the new cars would be unveiled in September - it was a huge deal at the dealerships. Days before the Big Day the car carriers would roll into town with the new cars under wraps, and the storage lots would be fenced off so that no one could catch a glimpse at the new models. In the 50's and 60's, model change-over was a very big deal - kids knew a 1964 Ford from a 1964 Chevy a block away. Nowadays you couldn't tell one apart from the other if you were standing next to them, and they all look like they were copied from the Japanese cars. That's another thing - growing up so close to Detroit, it was considered a sin to own a "foreign" car. Now, Japanese cars are built in Ohio and Pontiac GTO's come from Australia. (Even my wagon was built in Canada.) Model change-over happens with no fanfare, and the only way you can tell a 2003 from a 2004 is to look at the registration.

I know cars today are safer, more reliable, and certainly cleaner and more efficient than the cars in Memory Lane. But if Cadillac can build an SUV, a pick-up, and a station wagon (they don't call it a station wagon, but trust me, it is), then maybe they can put some style back in them while they're at it. There is some hope. The "retro" look has been catching on; the PT Cruiser, the Ford Thunderbird, the Chevrolet SRS, and the next-generation Mustang all pay tribute to their forebearers. Let's hope that's a trend that flourishes.

Now if they can just get gas back down to 35 cents a gallon...

Laura Ingraham, second lead in the Blonde Nazi Bimbo parade and alleged author of Shut Up and Sing, a screed against Hollywood participating in politics, was on Reliable Sources this morning with Howie Kurtz discussing, among other things, the cancellation of The Reagans by CBS. Her "debate partner" was Michael Wolf. Howie would ask Michael a question, and without fail, Laura would interrupt and change the subject back to her. When Howie would ask her a question, she'd get the full time to answer, and Michael would let her spew without interrupting her.

There is nothing so rude as someone who interrupts like that, and I hate it. (I damn near threw the NY Times Crossword puzzle at the TV, but restrained myself - I haven't finished it yet.) But it is typical of right-wing hacks - if you can't make a good argument, interrupt the person who is.

He's got the talking points down pat: Bush is a phony, Dean is out of the mainstream, I'm the only candidate in touch with the "real Americans." It's his first visit to MTP in over a year and he sounded prepped and ready, but I also detected a tinge of forced optimism, especially when Russert grilled him on his single-digit poll numbers.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's positioning himself for the VP slot on the Dean ticket.

Courtesy of today's Miami Herald, here is a pretty basic summary of the up-coming Free Trade summit here in Miami November 17-21. The article pretty well nutshells the story. More to come as we get closer.

Update: from the South Florida (Ft. Lauderdale) Sun-Sentinel, an article on FTAA and its impact on Brazil.

One of the most infuriating things in life is seeing someone else do something you thought of doing, but you're a beat late. Many examples abound - the guy who got to the patent office the day after Alexander Graham Bell patented the telephone, the second guy to build an airplane, and the folks at GM who got the Camaro into production in 1967 - two years after Ford brought out the Mustang. (Don't get me started on Camaro vs. Mustang...all I can say is, do you see any 2004 Camaros on the street?)

We're seeing that now with Howard Dean turning down federal funds for the primaries. That grinding sound you hear is the gnashing teeth of the other Democrats, especially John Kerry who stood on his principles and said he would not use his wife's vast fortune, inherited from her late husband, Senator John Heinz, to fund his campaign. But now that Dr. Dean is going to depend solely on private contributions, Kerry and all the others are all chonked off - not because he's not playing by the rules but because they didn't think of it first.

So now Kerry has to play ketchup.

Richard L. Berke points out in today's NYT Week in Review section that the Confederate flag flap should be a lesson to Dr. Dean - no one takes you seriously until they take you seriously.

It must be more than a little frustrating for Dean to suddenly be in trouble for something he's been saying for a very long time, and getting flack from other candidates who are trying to boost their numbers by piling on Dean. Truthfully, they're probably kicking themselves for not coming up with something that could get them as much attention as Dean got.